Friday, April 29, 2011

It seemed like a good idea at the time

Dear dad with "Dirty Soul" tattooed on either side of your neck in turquoise ink:

I appreciate the fact that as you dressed to come to your kid's school carnival, you matched your polo shirt to your prison tats and threw in the madras shorts to further establish yourself as an entirely different type of D-bag from the kind you used to be, yet recognized that adding a backwards baseball cap to the ensemble would be gilding the lily.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Your kid should read this book

Recently, I noticed that my middle son Joshua posted enthusiastically on facebook about how he liked The Phantom Tollbooth so much that he was reading it again. He'd read it for his enrichment class at school, and it's not that unusual for my kids to read on their own, so I didn't think too much of it. Then BD sent me this link in which Michael Chabon, author of one of the most stunning books of the past decade, talks about how much he loved The Phantom Tollbooth as a kid. So now I really want to read it.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

"Dear" Lamar Alexander

You said:

"Dear Mr. Alley:

Thanks for letting me know what's on your mind regarding Federal funding for Planned Parenthood.

On Thursday, April 14th, I voted for an amendment to prevent Planned Parenthood Federation of America and its local affiliates from receiving Federal funding for Fiscal Year 2011.

I am grateful you took the time to let me know where you stand on this important issue. I will be sure to keep your comments in mind as these issues are discussed and debated in Washington and in Tennessee."

I said:

"I hope you also voted to set aside some funding for orphanages, potters' fields, and STD clinics, since 97% of the services provided by Planned Parenthood include routine preventative health care like cervical cancer screenings, breast exams, birth control, and counseling for women who will not otherwise have access to those services. Contrary to what your preferred "news" source might have told you, Walgreens doesn't perform pap smears or talk to the scared teenage daughters of people like you about their options.

Also, I don't know any Misters named Kristy. Thank you for taking the time to send a condescending and completely insincere form email."

And then his evil website crashed my browser. Damn you, Lamar Alexander. Damn you.

Friday, April 08, 2011

I just have to say...

For the record, I think Ewan McGregor is so repulsive that I only realized fairly recently that people think he is attractive. Like, I thought looking like a baby bird from alternate-England-on-another-planet was kind of his bit.

I don't have anything against him as a person. I'm just saying.